How to Survive a Divorce Without Falling to Pieces

Divorce is considered the second most stressful life event, just after the death of a loved one. That’s why, if you’re currently surviving a divorce, it’s important to have realistic expectations and know that things will likely feel worse before they feel better.

But that doesn’t mean that going through a divorce has to leave you in pieces. In fact, it may be a stepping stone to a better, more fulfilling future for you and your family.

Learn how to survive a divorce with these words of advice.

Spend Time With Positive People

Marriage can slowly crowd out other relationships and people from your life, as you and your spouse spend time building a home and family together.

Then, without that marriage, you may feel lonely or even have negative feelings towards others who don’t understand what you’re going through.

But it’s essential to spend time with good people while healing from a divorce. This doesn’t mean distracting yourself with the company of anyone you can think of. Instead, it means intentionally seeking out positive people with a supportive and healthy mindset.

Look to friends, family, or even workmates who you know you can trust during this difficult time.

Rethink Your Finances

One of the most stressful aspects of going through a divorce is having to make new financial arrangements.

If you want to survive a divorce financially, you may need to get creative. A dual-income household may be easier to budget than that of a single income. But whether you depend on some alimony or not, you should start rethinking your finances and income.

This might mean starting a new job or saving up money for a rainy day. That way, you’ll feel empowered going forward, without relying on shared income with someone else.

Create a New Home

Many ex-spouses fight over who claims their shared home once the divorce is finalized. But it could be smarter to ditch the old house and create a new home for yourself.

That way, you have a new, physical space to create new memories, without the bad ones. And in that space, you can choose fresh decor and designs to express yourself in a way you may not have when married.

Keep Your Kids Out of It

Divorce is a topic that shouldn’t be swept under the rug when you have children. It’s important to explain what’s happening and what will change with your child.

But remember that their role and perspective is much different than yours. If you’re surviving divorce with a toddler or small child, they likely won’t even begin to grapple with what’s happening. It’s likely beyond their comprehension, making the process a confusing one.

Keep things as simple as possible, only explaining the basic details of what will change in their life (and also explaining what won’t change, such as your love for them). For the rest, keep them out of it as much as possible.

Embrace the Single Life

Divorce can be extremely hard, and returning to singlehood may feel like a failure.

But slowly, little by little, allow yourself to embrace being single. Consider the things that you can do now that would have been hard if you were still married.

Think of places you want to go, things you want to try, and people you want to meet. Now, you have the perfect opportunity to finally have those experiences you’ve always wanted.

And don’t overlook the little things too. It can be deeply rewarding to create a self-care routine for yourself, such as taking an evening bubble bath or going to a yoga class solo. Now that you have more time to focus on yourself, don’t let it go to waste.

Speak to a Therapist

Because divorce is such as difficult life experience, it’s reasonable to have some baggage and even trauma associated with it. And no one said you have to process all that on your own.

Even if you have a positive support system, they may not always have the words of advice that you need to hear.

But a professional therapist or counselor will have a balanced, objective perspective that can help you work through the hardships of your marriage and divorce.

Consider speaking to one while going through your divorce. Even if you think you’re holding yourself together, there’s nothing wrong with being proactive about your mental health.

Practice Self-Compassion

There is no right or best way to survive a divorce. And there isn’t one correct timeline for how quickly you should move on.

Give yourself plenty of time as you navigate post-divorce challenges.

Allow yourself the room to grieve and feel a variety of emotions. Whether it’s anger, loneliness, or even joy, no feeling is wrong during this time.

Also extend compassion towards who you were while you were still in your marriage. You likely made some mistakes, along with your spouse, and it’s important to forgive yourself and remember that you did the best you could.

Surviving a Divorce and Finding the Light at the End of the Tunnel

Surviving a divorce is one of the hardest experiences imaginable, and if you’re going through it, it’s okay if you’re struggling.

Be sure to extend compassion towards yourself during this time. And use the tips outlined here to make the process a little smoother until you reach the other side.

Because even if you can’t see it now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you’re ready to build a new home of your own after divorce, be sure to check out our home and design articles for inspiration!