The Beginning of Happily Ever After
For some people, getting married is the ultimate dream; this is the fulfillment of the happily ever after they have been longing to find for years. But the reality is, the wedding day is just the beginning. What lies ahead is a series of sunshine and storms that a couple must enjoy and survive together.
Challenges for Newlyweds
Despite the belief that newlyweds enjoy honeymoon bliss, this is also the toughest time for new husbands and wives. The first year is said to be the adjustment period, and even those who have been living as partners for years find difficulties after getting married.
Relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein discusses why the first year of marriage is the toughest. She sites the stressful year leading to the wedding event as a culprit. Hartstein says that after the thrills and excitement of the wedding day, the days after, it becomes an anti-climax. After days of hard work into making the wedding a day to remember, going back to regular life can be challenging.
She also mentions that marriage puts more pressure on couples than just being partners. Since when you get married, you sign a binding contract, the stakes are higher. So when you have an argument or disagreement with your partner, it might feel harder than before. You can’t just leave and end the relationship.
In-laws are also a factor. When you’re just new in a marriage, you’re just starting to deal with the fact that your in-laws are now part of the family. Every decision or argument you have with your partner might feel more difficult because there’s another party pressuring you to make it work.
The University of Florida, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) Extension also mentions some newlywed problems. One of these includes finances; studies point out that this is the number one problem newlyweds face. Because most marriage involves joint finances, one part of the couple might bring debts, leading to arguments between partners.
Some people also find it difficult to have another person in their personal space all the time. Those who have been living solo for the longest time find it hard to adjust to the new setup. One part of the couple might feel left out, or one might find it hard to meet the demands of their partner, who always wants to be with the other at all times.
Sex is also a problem newlyweds face. One might be too demanding, or one might have a different preference. The difference in preference also applies in terms of hobbies. One might want to do one thing, and the other, a different hobby.
Surviving the first year
With all the hurdles a newlywed couple could face, one must be ready to enter married life. These are not something that should discourage you from getting married; these are only challenges you need to overcome to become stronger couples.
If you’re finding it difficult to live with in-laws, it’s best to have your own house. To help with your finances, you need the assistance of the best mortgage lenders. As you buy your own house, you should turn it into a home for the two of you.
In building a home, make spaces in your home that the two of you can enjoy. If you’re having problems with different interests, build a space in your home where you can spend some time apart, or better yet, try to learn to love these spaces and your partner’s interests. Remember, marriage not just about romance; it’s also about compromise.
This is not to discount the importance of romance in every relationship. This is of utmost importance; romance is what keeps your fire and passion in the relationship alive. Simple steps like turning off your phone over dinner and asking how each other’s day went can be romantic. Don’t forget to dress up; constantly remind your partner why they fell in love with you.
Also, remember that nobody is perfect, and neither is your partner. Allow allowances for mistakes, and try to learn from these mistakes. As marriage is a partnership, you have to help each other go through difficult times; you should inspire each other to grow and be better partners. Your partner is someone you can lean on; you should support each other in hardships.
Do not forget to say thank you. It’s a simple phrase, but it is impactful. Lastly, learn to take care of yourself. As RuPaul always says, “If you can’t love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else?”
